


The Beacon Hills Department of Parks & Recreation

by Swing Set in December (swing_set13)



Category: Parks and Recreation, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, F/M, Hijinks, M/M, Sarcasm, Werewolves, government bureaucracy, ridiculous pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2012-05-21
Packaged: 2017-11-05 18:52:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swing_set13/pseuds/Swing%20Set%20in%20December
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are the misadventures of the Beacon Hills Department of Parks & Recreation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Stiles beams at the cameraman and tugs at his sports coat that has wrinkled considerably from the morning running around Wolf's Hollow Memorial Park.

"So we're in city hall, one of the oldest buildings in Beacon Hills." The camera pans up to try to get the whole shot of Stiles standing up top the stairs of the main entrance of the city hall but can't quite get it all into the frame.

The camera settles back to Stiles who is bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement.

"It's been through quite the rough and tumble throughout history, surviving eight fires. All of which remain unsolved. Not that I'm saying our police force isn't great. No siree. We have a great sheriff, I mean, it's not - hey we can edit that out right?" he coughs awkwardly and looks left and right with a hunted look. He loosens his tie before grinning again at the camera. "The Whittemores actually used to live here, can you believe it? They wrote it off to the state in 1910 when wolves claimed the east wing. Lucky break, eh?"

He motions for the camera to follow as he gamely makes his way up the stairs. He's nearly hit in the face when the doors swing open to a woman with wavy red tresses.

"Lydia! Light of my life! Say hello to the camera!" he beams. Lydia merely arches an eyebrow in the camera's direction.

"They're here already," she says, ignoring the camera completely. "You told Derek it was going to happen next week."

She crosses her arms at him.

"Oops?" he smiles weakly.

"Derek's going to kill you." Lydia clucks her tongue in a disproving manner. "I'm taking a longer lunch break."

She gives the camera another look before flouncing down the stairs.

"Lydia Martin, she works in Parks and Recreation with me," says Stiles, staring at Lydia's retreating back. "She's an absolute joy to work with."

The camera zooms in where Lydia is flipping Stiles off.

\---

The scene cuts to Lydia outside a Starbucks, eyeing the camera critically.

"I hope you're good at editing," she remarks dryly before taking a long slip of her iced Americano. "Stiles is the only one who hasn't been forced to a court ordered anger management seminar."

She looks right at the camera. "I'd stay away from Derek if I were you."

\---

The camera cuts back to Stiles, who's moon-walking down the hallway, creating a large berth around himself as people swerve to avoid his arms, as he addresses the camera.

"We're one of the last cities in California to have actually wolf sightings. Beacon Hills is infamous for wolves, why it was even believed at one point that there were werewolves walking amongst us. Pretty cool, right? Our last mayor even had a wolf for a pet before PETA caught wind," he says.

The camera pans to the multitude of wolf portraits and murals in the hall. Even ones with half man half beast transformations. 

The camera moves back to Stiles. "We do get the occasional wolf in the building, but I wouldn’t say it’s a problem. If you're lucky you can hear a lone howl into the night sometimes around here."

Stiles licks his lips. "But it's 100% safe, really. Scout's honor."

\---

Scene cuts back to Lydia outside of Starbucks.

"Stiles didn't last one day in Scouts."

\---

The scene jumps to Stiles sprawled out on the chairs to the shoe shine stand. "And this is my best friend Scott, the most talented shoe shiniest in all of Beacon Hills," declares Stiles who points to the lanky guy tossing M&Ms into his mouth sitting next to him.

"Yo," nods the other man, M&M missing his mouth completely.

"Scott also volunteers down at the animal shelter," continues Stiles.

"I get attacked by animals a lot," says Scott. "Good thing my girlfriend's a nurse."

Camera pans to the wall behind the shoe shine stand where there are varying candid pictures of a smiling brunette.

Stiles elbows him in the ribs and glances at the camera.

"I mean, Beacon Hills is a totally safe place to live. Just don't go out at night," Scott says as Stiles groans into his hands. "I mean, at least not on a full moon."

"He's joking," Stiles laughs nervously, the camera pans to one of the more graphic murals of a pack of wolves eating a stag.

\---

Scene cuts back to Lydia, getting into her Mercedes.

"Werewolves?" she says darkly. "Where did you hear that?"

\---

"You're not the first person to ask me that," coughs Stiles, tugging at his tie. He looks at the camera and down the hall.

"As a government employee I can't elaborate further," he licks his lips and looks down the hall. "It's hearsay, mostly."

The far doors open to a tall scruffy looking man in a suit.

"You know, I haven't shown you the cafeteria, yet," says Stiles, herding the camera in the opposite direction of the man now glaring at them. "Best curly fries in all of California, come on."

Camera cuts back briefly to the brooding man standing in the hall, frowning at Stiles, before turning away.


	2. Chapter 2

The scene cuts to Stiles devouring a plate of curly fries in the bustling cafeteria. 

"Oh my God, these babies are amazing," moans Stiles. "You should really put down the camera and try some. Hey, after I'll take you to the best waffle place in the county. Possibly in all of America."

\---

"Uh, does Derek know about this? 'cause I'm not taking the fall for this-" says a guy, warily, looking at the camera. "I mean, I'm still called Greenberg, and I've been working here for over ten years."

\---

Scene cuts to a hospital hallway where a nurse in baby blue scrubs is doing paperwork at the nurses' station. 

"Stiles has done wonders for making city hall more health conscious. He spearheaded a city-wide health campaign," smiles the nurse. Her badge reads _Allison Argent_. "He's actually how I met Scott." 

The camera focuses on the animal attack poster on the wall behind her.

"Scott holds the record for most animal attacks, actually," she tugs at her locket with a frown. "Not that it's a competition."

\---

Cut scene back to Stiles who licks his thumb and index finger free of salt and fry grease with a beaming smile. "Oh hey, there's Danny! Danny! Come say hi! Danny!"

Camera pans to a man in khakis and polo shirt carrying a lunch tray who does a complete one-eighty and walks towards the exit. 

"He's the best urban planner the city has," says Stiles. "We made out once, before he mysteriously fell into an open pit." 

\---

Camera switches to Danny, sitting at a drafting board. 

"Yeah, I fell into an open pit," he deadpans. "Not the finest moment of my life. I hit rock bottom that night. I mean I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock. I remember laying there thinking, there's probably a good reason why I'm down here. And then I remember thinking I need morphine."

A familiar unshaven man walks by the glass pane that makes up one side of Danny's office. 

"I want to make it abundantly clear that there is absolutely no romantic element to my relationship with Stilinski."

Danny follows the man's wake attentively before exhaling slowly. 

"Did you have an actual question about the city?" 

The camera pans to the door where there are three long gashes down the middle. 

\---

"And this is the most wonderful department in all of Beacon Hills, my department," grins Stiles pushing open the doors to the main office to the department of Parks and Recreation. "Well, it's Derek's department but-"

"Derek's going to gut you," glares a man sitting at a desk outside a closed office door, flicking sharpened pencils into the ceiling tiles. He's in a stylish dark navy suit, making Stiles look like a rumpled mess.

"And that's Jackson, Derek's assistant," says Stiles, ignoring Jackson. 

"I'm not his assistant," Jackson growls, shooting a hunted look at the closed door. 

\---

The scene cuts to Jackson, standing outside of the offices of Parks and Recreation, his arms crossed sullenly. 

"Yeah, I'm a Whittemore," he shrugs. "I could have any job I wanted in this town. But if I'm going to be taken seriously, I need to make it on my own. Working for Derek is the furthest I could get from nepotism. The Whittemores don't do politics. Even adopted ones."

He shifts his weight and tugs at his tie. 

"What do I do?" he glares at the camera dead-on. "I run the summer lacrosse training camps and am the liaison to the parks fire safety campaign. I work a lot with the urban planning office. It's cool. I guess if you like those things."

His face pinkens slightly before he glares at the camera again.

\---

The camera cuts to Lydia, standing outside the Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital, holding two frappuccinos. 

"Jackson?" she asks. "He was hired because he hates people almost as much as Derek. Can you excuse me, I'm late for a lunch date."

Camera veers off to side where Allison sitting on one of the picnic tables outside the hospital. She waves when she spots Lydia. 

\---

Scene goes back to Jackson sitting at his desk, where the phone rings and he picks it up and slams it back down. He spins his chair to pelt a paper ball at Greenberg's head. 

\---

"I have to go host a public forum so I'll let Derek continue the tour," Stiles grins at the camera before knocking on the closed office door that has the name _Derek Hale_ printed on the door. 

Stiles is out the main office doors in a dead sprint when the door swings open to reveal the same unshaven man seen prowling the halls. He eyes the camera darkly and looks towards the office entrance with a frown. Jackson picks up his desk phone to avoid catching his eye. 

"Who's paying for this?" he asks the camera. "Jackson, make sure Stiles doesn't leave for the day before I gut him." He eyes the camera. "I mean, talk to him."

"You got it," nods Jackson with a smirk, hanging up the phone. 

"Let's get this over with," Derek glares, going back into his office. The camera focuses on the claw marks on the door.

**Author's Note:**

> When I stay up on tumblr I get ideas, I really do. And I've been watching a lot of Parks & Rec. It's my favourite show, really. It's always playing in the background in my house. Un-beta'd so be kind. And comments, I live for them. Let me know if I should continue.


End file.
